Okay, it's sunk in a little, and I've checked some LJ people to confirm that I'm not cracked.
It hurts. I actually liked Sirius *better* in OoTP, with his flaws and his occasional arrogance and carelessness. He was *real,* he was a person, and he was coping with not only "freedom" that wasn't anything like it, but his utter failure at being able to protect Harry, and Snape needling him, and being shut up in that awful, grim old house with his raving mother and that house-elf who obviously hated him.
I liked him for his unexpected rough edges, for the fact that he wasn't perfect-- he had prejudices, he had temper, he had sulky, "imperfect" feelings over being able to do nothing, he had rashness and impulse, he had issues with Harry and James being similar. I wanted to leap in and protect him from Molly, even though I knew she might be right. I wanted to *do something* for him, because he was chafing at the constraints on him and Harry needed him and he wouldn't be much good to the Order if he went stark raving. In short, I got to know him, and then he was killed off. Terribly, I might add-- not even a body left to mourn. I want him back.
Snape... what can I say? I wanted to yell at Harry for spying, and I wanted to yell at Snape for refusing to continue the lessons. I'm glad I'm not the only person out there who wondered if Snape wasn't protecting Harry, in a way, as well as himself-- after all, he removed a memory that obviously caused Harry grief, a memory that tarnished his image of his father, his godfather, and even Lupin. Of course he didn't want a student to see him humiliated, but could he possibly, in part, have been keeping such a memory from Harry to spare the kid more pain?
On a related subject... James. Sushi is right; James is worm food. James is dirt. That was unnecessary, uncalled for, cruel, and sadistic. Snape had not committed any offenses against him-- at least no public ones, since Lily asked what he had done. James is a skunk. That was a reaaaaallly interesting insight into his and Lily's relationship, though; that comment that she really didn't know what James did to Severus kind of shredded the illusion of the perfect happy couple. They may have been, but James was a miserable bastard to Severus, and obviously knew that Lily wouldn't approve, and therefore didn't bother to tell her. As opposed to, say, stopping in his persecution of a fellow student, he chose to deliberately omit it from his relationship rather than let her know what a slug he was, whether he was doodling her name in hearts or not. Hmm. Food for thought, that. As for Lily... Oh, I wish I had the book. I cannot now for the life of me recall why, but I remember as I was reading her defense of Severus that I thought she wasn't, under it, much better than James. (Anyone willing to type this scene up for me? Please? Or scan the page? I'll love you forever.)
So. Harry. I was impressed, really, with the fact that he's finally let himself be angry. Dumbledore, despite his protestations of love, has gifted him with a pretty high cost for that "protection," and for all his words, it's Harry who paid for it, unasked. I saw this emerging in GoF, where Harry's anger hits the Dursleys for the first time; I never understood all those fics where Harry is a whimpering little abuse victim, because really, he's not. Not whimpering. Harry started to fight back long ago, from the moment he "forgot" to tell the Dursleys he couldn't do magic over the holidays, all the way down to telling them about his godfather and "forgetting" to tell them Sirius was innocent, to his anger and his outbursts in the fourth book. Harry has a spine, and he's growing more daily.
On the other hand, I was bored by his fumbling little romance, and while I don't hate Cho the way some seem to, she doesn't really interest me, either. I'm glad she's dealing with Cedric's death, rather than just brushing it off like an adolescent crush, but watching Harry and Cho step, trip, and crash through the process of "getting together" is tedious. I wish that plotline would just be dropped-- fifteen-year-olds don't need to be falling in love. I certainly never did at that age, and while granted I am one person and should not speak for a generation, I don't believe that any of my peers did, either. It's just... fumbling, that first beginning of interest, and it's pretty darn boring to the rest of us-- it's like being told in excruciating detail about a friend's date. No one wants to sit through the play-by-play. Part of that is doubtless the slash writer in me, but that doesn't keep it from being true. Teen romance is boring.
Despite my heartache over Sirius, I can see how his death furthers the plot neatly; if you take away the one person Harry has to care about him, he'll get even angrier with Voldemort, and up his resolution to off him, and overall give him more reason to hate the Death Eaters. I mean, it already got him to the point of using an Unforgivable; it's not that far a leap from Crucio! on a DE to Avada Kedavra! on their leader.
I am more Slytherin than Harry, for sure, too, because there were places where the course of action seemed obvious to me while Harry dithered. That whole "murder or be murdered" thing, for one. I would buck up and decide, quick, that it wasn't going to be me who let a megalomaniacal snake-grafted elitist rule the world, even if it did mean I'd have to kill someone. Especially if I'd already used an Unforgivable Curse on someone twice. I kept thinking about AWS, and Harry's desire to learn, whatever was needed. That's me. There were lots of other incidents like that too, where I kept going, "but, obviously..." when Harry was at a loss, or debating moral decisions, or whatever. (Man, I wish I had the book. I need a local to borrow it from! I can't memorise 800 pages of text, even if I did just read it. I'm left with that feeling where I remember my reactions, but don't recall quite what sparked them.)
Umbridge. Harry's detention gave me major sick-up urges. The woman is... horrible. I do not believe blood should be extracted, in any way, during a detention. It was macabre and disturbing. On a more meta-ly note, I think Umbridge's flaw was that she was trying to give two different images: the fluffy-kittens-pink-cardigan-and-hairbows image, which says "I am a nice woman, really I am, and I will help you like the little babies that you are," and the bloodletting-malicious-vengeful-authoritative image, which says "I am strong and in charge, and don't mess with me." This is why she has no respect-- if I can snicker about your hairbow, I am not going to be afraid of your punishments. Angry, yes, but afraid, no. Instead, I will hate you, and try at every turn to defy you, because you are what most people hate most of all-- a hypocrite.
Then, of course, there's the fact that she's a toadying (random note: hey, I just realized the connection with her descriptions!) wimp who wants power, but doesn't know the difference between respect and fear, and doesn't understand that real power (or respect) can't be taken while you're hiding behind a pretty piece of paper.
The twins. Oh, the twins. They were wonderful, funny, and devious-- and they had a bit of a dark streak. I kept thinking of AWS, especially when they decided to leave school. Their leavetaking was not merely humourous, but had an edge to it, and it made Telanu's twins all the more canon to me. Then, of course, there's Neville, and yep, like everyone else, I'm reeling at the news that it could have been "Neville Longbottom" with his personal life written up in the papers every day, Neville Longbottom who had to hide his forehead under his fringe, Neville Longbottom, our newest... celebrity. Dumbledore's insight into the reason Voldemort chose to attack Harry were intriguing, especially the comment about being pureblood.
So yes, I want to read it again, but I don't know if I'll be able to. I know I've much more to say, and to think, so doubtless there will be more posts. Again, anyone willing to email me the scene will be appreciated forever. Anyone willing to give me the book will be apotheosized. :)