There's no accounting for...

[krait]

I was reading a (rare) bit of het in one of my fringe fandoms the other day, and found that every single work of this author did absolutely nothing for me. Why? Because the smut in every story went along these lines:

F: strokes over guy's shoulders, down his arms
M: strokes girl's breasts
F: strokes guy's back, moans, kisses him, shifts around
M: strokes sides of girl's breasts
F: arches, sucks on guy's neck, grips his arse
M: kneads girl's breasts
F: initiates complete sequence of Tantric sex positions, one after another
M: caresses girl's breasts

Seriously. By the end of the third story, I was realising that I now knew far more about what turned this author on than I really wanted to know. The female body has a thousand erogenous zones, but in every single story the male's hands were glued to the female's breasts and did not move throughout the entire scene. I realise that some people have very sensitive breasts and enjoy having them touched, but even for those sorts of people this was overkill, and for me, whose bosom has all the outward sensitivity of a chunk of quartzite, it was worse: it was boring.

It's strange how tastes can be so different, and what obviously leaves the author's loins in a molten puddle can leave me as aroused as wet cement. I suspect this is why I don't read het very often.