I can't hold this in any longer.

[krait]

DEAR FANDOM, AND ALSO THE REST OF THE WORLD,

"TAB A" GOES WITH "SLOT A", NOT WITH "SLOT B". BECAUSE TAB B, IN FACT, GOES WITH SLOT B. OTHERWISE YOU ARE BUILDING SOME KIND OF MOEBIUS STRIP OF ENDLESS TABS, EACH OFFSET BY ONE UNTIL THEY MUST EITHER LOOP BACK (TAB Z TO SLOT A) OR CONTINUE INTO INFINITY!

I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR APPLYING THIS IN ALL FUTURE FIC, WRITING, AND CONVERSATIONS.

THANKS,

KRAIT


P.S. No wonder you guys think IKEA furniture is so hard to assemble, if you can't manage the basic concept of 'parts should match up'!

Comments

wandering in from a link

[melannen]

...I always assumed "Tab A goes in Slot A" was for standard het PIV, and "Tab A goes in Slot B" was when you're ... repurposing Slot B against the manufacturer's instructions, with the aid of a lot of lubrication.

(okay most people use Tab A/Slot B for PIV sex too but this is how I keep from screaming when I see it.)

newbie question

[thnidu]

What does PIV stand for?

Personal Identity Verification (FIPS 201)
Pentium 4
Particle Image Velocimetry
Personal Identification Verification
Peak Inverse Voltage
Peripheral IV
Phase IV (clinical studies)
Post Indicator Valve (firefighting)
Physical Inventory Verification
Powered Industrial Vehicle
Positively Infinitely Variable (type of gearbox)
positive input ventilation
Post Implementation Verification
Propellant Isolation Valve
Pontoon Implantment Vehicle
Pre-Inventory Visit
Product Improvement Verification
Pressure-Indicating Valve

None of the above??

Re: newbie question

[snakeling]

Penis In Vagina :)

Re: newbie question

[thnidu]

:-) OK, thanks. That makes everything Perfectly Clear.

Re: newbie question

[pebblerocker]

Some of these make lovely euphemisms. I especially like Powered Industrial Vehicle and Personal Identification Verification as code words for heterosexual intercourse. And whatever a Pontoon Implantment Vehicle is, I want to drive one.

Re: newbie question

[krait]

You're right!

I think Propellant Isolation Valve is my new euphemism for cervix. :D

Re: newbie question

[melannen]

Huh, I wonder if that acronym finder has some kind of adult content filter? PIV is a pretty common acronym in some feminist/kinky/queer sex communities, so I'm surprised it's not there. Sorry for not clarifying!

Re: newbie question

[krait]

I'm surprised, too! I imagine PIV as Penis-In-Vagina is relevant to a LOT more people than, say, "Positively Infinitely Variable", whatever that is! The sex definition's likely known to medical people and legal people and sex educators and porn stars, in addition to feminists/other activists, so I'm with you in suspecting there's a filter in place there...

Re: newbie question

[thnidu]

And I figured out a bit later why that particular initialism* hit me so strongly. The reason is REALLY geeky: For many years, though not recently, one of my favorite reference books was Plena Ilustrita Vortaro de Esperanto (Complete Illustrated Dictionary of Esperanto), or PIV. (And real Esperanto nouns end in -o, so sometimes "PIVo"... which is pronounced the same as "piwo", the Polish word for "beer". But I digress.)

And one of my standard reference sites is Ethnologue, which has brief descriptions of damn near every language in the world and is the responsible agency for ISO 639-3, the (Int'l Standards Organization's) standard assigning distinctive three-letter codes to all of them. And as I happened to stumble across, there is a language whose code is piv. (In case anyone's interested, it's Vaeakau-Taumako, a language of the Solomon Islands, spoken by about 1,650 people in 1999.)

* initialism: link, link, link, link

Re: wandering in from a link

[krait]

for standard het PIV [vs.] repurposing Slot B against the manufacturer's instructions

This is actually my personal mental workaround, too. The B/A mismatch doesn't bother me so much in a slash context (or I try not to let it, anyway), so I suppose I should have clarified: this rant was inspired by het or nominally het materials. (I personally feel that a self-lubricating orifice intended for reproductive penetration is a Slot A, even if the person it belongs to also has a Tab A. Others may differ.)

Curse Homestuck fandom; before it happened to me, I read a lot less het. (Or pseudo-het.)

Re: wandering in from a link

[melannen]

...it says something [good] about the current state of fandom that Homestuck fandom was only my third thought when you mentioned reading a lot of fic where PIV doesn't always mean het. :) (And I guess in Homestuck fandom it's BIN sex? ...wow, BIN and buckets, that's a lot of janitorial supplies.)

Re: wandering in from a link

[krait]

BIN and buckets, that's a lot of janitorial supplies

For a species that thinks human reproduction is gross and messy, theirs sure sounds like it should be preceded by a loudspeaker announcement for "cleanup on aisle three"! :D

And yeah to the bit about Homestuck being the third thought! Sometimes I love fandom. :D (Okay, most of the time! Even when they're aggravating me by failing to understand how objects are paired. ...Which sounds like a 'shipping debate, heh.)

Re: wandering in from a link

[krait]

Also! I forgot to ask earlier, but can I ask what link you wandered in from? I'm dying of curiosity! :D

Re: wandering in from a link

[melannen]

I had to trace back down the dreamroll, but I suspect it was ysabetwordsmith, who links to many things!

Re: wandering in from a link

[thnidu]

As did I.

[toft]

LOL

[cheyinka]

I've had furniture instructions (I think for a desk) that really did go "put a in b, c in d, e in f" /o\
Fortunately there weren't more than thirteen such pairs, or things could have gotten complicated!

[pantswarrior]

Same here. The diagram points out the different components as A, B, C, etc., and then will be like "Insert 3.5 inch rod (A) into pre-drilled hole (B)". That's how most of my furniture/appliances have been, so someone saying "insert tab A in slot A" wouldn't have made any sense to me at all...

[krait]

Wow, that is... very strange! It's like saying that one should put the A key on the B key button, or take Pill A for Ailment B; it sounds bizarre to my ears!

Unless, of course, it was the kind where all the parts are simply numbered/lettered and then assembled as-they-go? Like, left side of bookcase (A) has hole (B), and back piece (C) has peg (D) etc. In which case one would have plenty of mismatches, but not all in order...

[pantswarrior]

Yeah, that's pretty much what I've been faced with when I assemble stuff. The mismatches aren't necessarily in order in those cases, but with "Tab A in Slot B" as it's used in fandom, it would be kind of ridiculous to start with "Tab D in Slot G" or some such if there are only two "components" being "put together".

Of course, in cases of threesome there may be "Tab A goes in Slot B while Tab B goes in Slot C". XD

[blnchflr]

I agree with melannen and cheyinka :)

…But I'll rant with you on "here, here"?

[krait]

here, here

It's appreciated. :D

Re: newbie question

[pebblerocker]

I think you'd have to be assembling... a torus? That seems to fit, topologically. (Topologically, everything's toruses except when it's not.)

Re: newbie question

[krait]

It has been SO LONG since I had any kind of geometry, and toruses (tori?) I never quite got around to, so I'll defer to your judgment on that! :D