In Honour of Speak Out With Your Geek Out

[krait]

So.

For the sake of geek solidarity, I wanted to make a Speak Out With Your Geek Out post, but find myself a bit stymied as this is, well, a fandom journal, which is to say a journal that is my expression of a geeky hobby. I spend hours each week reading and writing fanfiction, enough that I built a journal and an online persona to rec it, sharing the things I love.

Maybe instead I should talk about the ways in which I pretend to be normal? Not that there are many; as a child I took to heart the assertions of my authority figures that "it doesn't matter what other people think of you", somewhat more strongly (I suspect) than some of them intended.

(Why, yes, I do remember shooting down various "what will your peers think" attempts to make me conform to beauty standards and social situations, and the bewilderment my lack of caving induced.)

None of which is an attempt to say that the geek-shaming attitudes displayed by the obnoxious writer do me no harm or do not upset me. Those attitudes are why I consider myself lucky -- lucky that the worst I ever faced was verbal teasing, exclusion, lonership, refuge in adult companionship, reliance on the existence of one or two close friends, and (in retrospect) gladness for my asexuality. Many, many of my fellow geeks probably didn't have my luck.

This post is my way of saying: you guys, I wish I had been there to guard your backs, because safety in numbers is the best way to deal with the human herd. If I can guard your back in any way now, it would be my honour and privilege to do so; and I know I can count on you to guard mine. On a broader level, that's what this whole "fandom" thing is about: geeks coming together in numbers, doing what they love and having a group to do it in, a group they don't take for granted because they haven't always had it.

Comments

[kurokaze-89.livejournal.com]

I probably would have made a separate journal, had I not been in my mid-teens and giddy about fandom when I first made this one. XD

that's what this whole "fandom" thing is about: geeks coming together in numbers, doing what they love and having a group to do it in, a group they don't take for granted because they haven't always had it.
I agree! But sometimes fandom can be so like other 'normal' social groups with the backbiting and bitching... sigh.

I'm like you in that I never cared about what others thought of me. At first, in the instinctual teen-rebel way, then later on, with the "it's my life, I don't owe you anything" mentality.

[fer-de-lance.livejournal.com]

I'm like you in that I never cared about what others thought of me. At first, in the instinctual teen-rebel way, then later on, with the "it's my life, I don't owe you anything" mentality.

There seems to be some kind of "magic timeframe" for this, where you can segue seamlessly from "I DON'T CARE I AM A REBEL and anyway YOU'RE ALL IDIOTS" to "No, really, do whatever; I don't really care" without having to go through an awkward, peer-pressured transitional phase. :D Looks like we were both lucky enough that our personal timelines fell into that sweet spot!

sometimes fandom can be so like other 'normal social groups with the backbiting

This... is probably true. I think I was also lucky that I fell into slash-fandom, and the more mature side of that, pretty early -- I have figured out, by now, that I really missed a LOT of wank-potential and juvenile interactions by heading straight to Harry/Snape once I found my first major fandom. (Well, the first where social interaction was a large part; TPM fandom was mostly mailing lists and feedback, not interpersonal.)

If I'd fallen into the clutches of the Harry/Draco fangirls, or spent a stint in Harry/Ginny normality? I might describe fandom very differently...

[kurokaze-89.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think a huge influence on my not having a peer-pressured phase was my sister. She was an all-around 'bad girl' stereotype and me being me, was so determined not to become like her. XD! In the end, I turned out weird in my own way. (Fannishness and being... somewhat reclusive.)

I've always been in bitchy fandoms. >_>; I can't remember any being particularly peaceful.

[salome-dansant.livejournal.com]

I wish I had known people like you when I was younger. I cared too much about what others thought of me, and am only just now learning how to be myself--mostly thanks to getting more involved in fandom. It's never too late, I hope. :)

[fer-de-lance.livejournal.com]

Awww. Wish I could have been there! I think a part of my confidence was having one close geeky friend when I was 12-14. (Makes me think of the studies done on protesting, where a group would not protest an injustice on their own initiative, but if a plant in the audience spoke up, the group would back that person up. Humans, man: we're hardwired to need backup!)