krait: a viper on the ground (viper)
Krait ([personal profile] krait) wrote2013-04-09 10:49 pm

urgh.

I have SO MANY THINGS that I need to do in, y'know, real life. Everything from "file taxes" to "figure out how to find an apartment with roommate(s)". And I have SO MANY THINGS that I want need to do in online life, too, from "finish that one fic" to "finish that other fic" to "write for the HSKM Fillathon" to "make a rec post"!

I just can't seem to... do any of them?

I've spent years suspecting I have low-grade depression, and it's things like this that fuel my suspicions. Surely other people don't find everything in their life an impossible cliff-face of "how do I even start"? Seriously, though, let's have a talk about how our culture aggressively and very subtly normalises romance and marriage, and I could join twenty-nine separate sites dedicated to finding a romantic partner but can't name a single place dedicated to "I just need to find a person to live with who is NOT secretly expecting romance" offhand.

I feel like my ENTIRE LIFE has been on hold for ten eternal, useless years and my paid-for adulthood got lost in the mail; I want to have my own residence where I can live my own life, in really basic ways like having friends visit and making my own food! I wanted to be sterilised by age 25; I'm now closer to menopause than to that goal. I want to have a cat, for crying out loud. These are pretty freaking basic goals, and I feel like I'm about as close to them as I am to discovering unaided human flight. *rolls eyes* I hate whining to the internet, but - ! It feels like that's all I'm capable of doing.

In conclusion: I hate reality and the job market and my life from the perspective of a line graph. Considering that I'm pretty darn well-off anyway just makes me want to bite whatever's nearest to my teeth.
elaineofshalott: Cartoon of a black-and-white cat carrying a sock in its mouth, singing "Little Pink Sock, Little Pink Sock." (little pink sock!)

[personal profile] elaineofshalott 2013-04-10 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Ahaha, GPOY. (Sort of.) I mean, I have a cat already. They help tremendously--or at least, not having a cat is terrible.

Re: flatmates: craigslist? That is where everyone I know goes to find flatmates and/or apartments, if they don't already have friends they want to live with.

Re: getting things done: it can be overwhelming when things have piled up and there is so much to work on that you don't know where to start. I've been trying to stick to a writing schedule, myself. The general strategy--I got this from a writing self-help book--is to commit to writing (or doing something that furthers your writing--research, storyboarding, whatever) for 15 minutes per day, 5 to 7 days a week. It sounds stupidly small, 15 minutes, but it adds up, and ends up being more than one would do if one were just paralyzed with indecision. (Plus I end up going well over the 15-minute mark because I get engrossed in what I'm doing.) Maybe make it your goal to "work on x for y minutes" rather than "get x done"?
pebblerocker: A worried orange dragon, holding an umbrella, gazes at the sky. (Default)

[personal profile] pebblerocker 2013-04-11 08:26 am (UTC)(link)
That sounds really helpful for my situation. Sometimes I sit down to write and find an email that needs answering and then do this and that and then it's bedtime and I didn't write at all. So even a tiny amount of committed concentration time, if I stick to it, sounds like it'd work well.